Life Can't Be Perfect
by FactionDistrictDemiGod
Summary: My name is... I actually can't remember my name. My captors on the other hand call me Tris. I am harsh, closed off, don't like talking, and am crying eternally inside. These were all true up until, they changed me. They taught me the true meaning of bravery, love, and cowardice. For that I will forever be grateful. As amazing as this summary is (sarcasm intended) read the story.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I am not and never will be Veronica Roth… sadly**

**Tris POV:**

My name is Beatrice Prior and lets just say I haven't had the best life...

_**~Flashback~**_

"Beatrice hurry up! We're going to miss our flight!"

"I'm coming go ahead and start the car!" I yell back. Today we're moving from Chicago to California and I am currently running behind on my packing. Just as I'm running down the stairs with about a million luggage a in my hand I trip over one of my luggage and fall to the floor. From inside the house I can hear the rumbling of the car driving towards the airport. Caleb probably under the impression I'm in the car. Our parents already left earlier this morning. I rush to my feet and run out to the porch to already see the moving van gone.

I don't have my phone with me so I have no way in contacting him and tell him to turn around. So the only thing left to do is sit on the porch and silently sob.

I sob for maybe hours or minutes until two huge men in black coats throw a bag over my head and all I remember after that is the sickening sound of them chuckling...

When I finally wake up I see I'm tied up to a chair arms, legs, everything leaving it pointless trying to struggle. The two men I once saw come into the dim light this time showing their faces. They both wear evil smiles upon their faces making me grimace thinking of what they might do to me. I immediately recognize them from their expressions. Marcus lives across the street from me with a son around my age. Then there's Peter. He's always had a thing for me but I always rejected him thinking he probably only liked me for my boobs or something.

"Hello Beatrice."

"What the hell do you want Marcus?" I say with as much confidence I can muster.

"Well aren't we in a bad mood Beatrice." He says in a sickening teasing voice. That's when the talking stops and the beatings begin.

_**~Flashback over~**_

I was 13 when Marcus and Peter captured me now at the age of 17 they still do. Marcus still lives at his house across the street but he occasionally comes over to Peter's house (where I am currently being help captive) to watch or cause the countless beatings I've endured. I have always wondered how Marcus's son puts up with such a monster. Or if he's playing good dad to his son and just hates me. To prevent anyone from finding out who I really am they changed my name to Tris and changed my whole appearance.

My once short blonde hair is now long and waist length and has black streaks. I have tattoos and piercings everywhere. I actually don't mind my new look but it's the way I've grown that worries me. I've seemed to have filled out more since I was 13 and by the looks of it Marcus and Peter won't be able to keep their hands off me tonight. Since I was 13 I have been homeschooled so for punishment they would whip me even more.

But this year that all changes. They are finally sending me to high school along with Peter since he is my age to keep an eye on me to make sure I'm not having any fun. Today's my first day of school and I am currently wearing a UCLA sweatshirt, jeans, and my combat boots. I stand in front of the school shaking slightly not knowing if it's from excitement for freedom, or from complete terror.

I walk up the steps and push the doors open to find happy go lucky teens talking loudly to one another, smiling and laughing. I go to the front desk and see what I believe is the secretary.

"My name is Tris can I get my schedule?" I ask almost harshly.

"Sure can. Mind telling me your last name?" She says with a smile despite my harsh attitude.

"I don't have one." I reply honestly. I can't remember my last name at all. But I faintly remember Caleb and what he looked like but I can't remember my parents it's as if I were brain washed.

"Oh well I'm sure I will find it hold on a second."

With that she goes off rummaging around looking for my schedule. When she finally finds it she says 'goodbye' which I only reply with a cold shoulder. For first period I have math, second period science, third period free, fourth period free, lunch, sixth period art, seventh period music, and lastly gym. Doesn't seem that hard. I decide on my free periods I'll go to the gym to practice my fighting.

When I was 14 I started sneaking out late at night to practice self defense but I haven had the courage to actually fight them. As the classes fly by lunch finally comes around. Oh how I have dreaded this moment. For the past four periods this girl named Christina constantly follows me around like a freaking stalker even on my free periods and invites me to sit with her, with me always declining.

I grab my lunch that Marcus packed which only consists of an apple as they are trying to starve me to death. I sit down in the corner of the cafeteria alone listening to the candor have a debate, amity play patty cake, the erudite having a civil conversation, abnegation sit quietly, and lastly my group the dauntless screwing off.

I continue to eat my apple when a group of people along with that Christina girl walks towards my table. The entire group is made up of dauntless all smiling except for one blue-eyed boy.

I just turn around and continue eating my apple. They all gather around the table and sit down and begin talking to me.

"Is that all your eating?" Christina asks me.

"Yes, it's all I'm allowed to eat" I add the last part silently hoping no one heard me.

"Oh well let me introduce you to my friends..."

I cut her off before she can continue. "Don't you get it? My answer is no. I don't want nor need friends. It would only end up badly and my life is already shit right now so just leave me alone." I say through gritted teeth and turn on my heel walking out the cafeteria.

Just as I'm leaving I faintly hear a boy from the table yell after me, "We won't give up that easily!"

This is going to be a long year.

As I'm walking around the school I feel a hand on my shoulder instantly making me tense up. I turn around and see the blue eyed boy standing in front of me. He looks so much like Marcus I cower back afraid of what he'll do to me.

"My names Four." He says sticking out his hand gesturing for me to shake his hand.

"Tris" I say slowly shaking his hand with a firm grip.

"Look I just came to say sorry about my friends. I was the same as you when I first started here. But they somehow managed to get me to be their friend. One last thing. They aren't going to give up that easily."

He says the last sentence while walking backwards towards the cafeteria while smirking.

"Yeah well I don't give up that easily either and I don't plan on giving up anytime soon!" I yell after him making sure he heard me.

Damn he was hot. God what is wrong with me! He will never like me back. If he ever finds out what's been happening to me he'll leave me faster than a blink of an eye.

I head over to art and the secretary from this morning apparently is the teacher. Yippee! Sarcasm intended. She begins the class saying for the rest of the week we will be doing individual performances showing any skill we might have to the class. It can be singing or just playing an instrument.

I decide to get it up and over with so I don't have too much stress on my shoulders. I walk up the stage and grab the keyboard. As I am setting up I can hear a couple snickers and whispering from sluts to jocks.

"She can sing?" Some slut says putting emphasis on the 'she' as if saying my name will cause a deadly disease that will cause the earth and everything on it to go into oblivion.

"Yeah right I bet she dresses better than she sings. And have you seen what she's wearing?" I just roll my eyes at their stupidity.

"This is a song I wrote recently and it's called This Goodbye." I say with a sad smile. **(Actually by Beth Crowley)** I then walk over to the keyboard and microphone thinking of my lost brother with every word.

_"My world caught fire_

_You're the one who lit the spark_

_Now I'm playing with matches _

_All alone here in the dark_

_I had to learn the hard way_

_That salvation has its price_

_But I'll never forgive myself_

_That you were the sacrifice_

_I can't bring myself to say goodbye_

_I walk with my head up, say I'm fine but that's a lie_

_Your face will always haunt me_

_It's my comfort and my curse_

_I can't imagine any feeling could be worse_

_Than this goodbye_

_Some days the guilt inside _

_Becomes too much to bear_

_I stopped seeking redemption_

_I can't bring myself to care_

_I know I should be stronger_

_Because I think that's what you'd want_

_You'd be so ashamed if you_

_could see the nothing I've become_

_I can't bring myself to say goodbye_

_I walk with my head up, say I'm fine but that's a lie_

_Your face will always haunt me_

_It's my comfort and my curse_

_I can't imagine any feeling could be worse_

_Than this goodbye_

_I'm so sorry that I couldn't save you_

_you gladly would have taken my place_

_I wanted to always protect you_

_But I broke every promise I made_

_Please don't leave me_

_I can't bring myself to say goodbye_

_I walk with my head up, say I'm fine but that's a lie_

_Your face will always haunt me_

_It's my comfort and my curse_

_I can't imagine any feeling could be worse_

_Than this goodbye" _

I sing the last note with tears in my eyes but not allowing them to fall. I will never let them fall. I look up to see the entire class in shock I just laugh half heartedly and walk/run out of the class room hearing faint clapping in the distance. I just keep running until I find my self in a hallway. I sit up against the lockers my head in my hands and start to sob heavily. I have been strong for so long, why did I have to break now? After all these years of trying to stay strong with my head help high I finally break.

I guess you could say, I'm crying not because I am weak but because I have been strong for too long.

I am still sobbing rather heavily might I add until I feel a warm hand on my shoulder. I look up to see the royal blue eyes that will haunt my dreams forever. His face suddenly becomes cold and Marcus's face appears. I cower back.

"Please don't hurt me. Please please please. Please Marcus Please." I repeat as I start to cry again.

Four's face looks a cross between hurt and confusion. That's when I realize what I've done.

**AN: First off I know this is like my second story and I haven't been here long but I had this idea and decided to publish it before anyone else had the chance. It's sorta the same but is also slightly different. I changed the lyrics just slightly to make it fit the story but oh well. **

**Tell me what you think in the reviews please. Criticism is welcome. **

**PLEASE REVIEW BECAUSE NO OFFENSE BUT YOU ALL LACK SUPPORT! ;P **


	2. Chapter Can You Lift Me Up?

**Disclaimer: Never did and probably never will own Divergent. PLEASE READ THE AUTHORS NOTE BELOW!**

**Four POV:**

The first thing that crosses my mind is how she knows about Marcus. Just as I am about to ask a look of shock crosses her face and she sprints off not acknowledging me screaming after her.

I run a hand through my hair and decide to follow her. When I finally find her she is in a park near school sitting on a bench looking like she wants to cry but is pushing the tears away.

I slowly walk over to her and put a hand on her shoulder but she pushes it aside lazily but staying on the bench not moving.

"How do you know about Marcus?" I ask her, saying Marcus with distaste.

"And of I refuse to answer?" She asks in return.

"Then I'll wait. I can't force you to do something your not comfortable with. I'm not nor ever will be like that. Then maybe when your ready I will tell you some of my secrets and trust me I have a lot." I say looking down laughing half heartedly.

Just as I am about to turn around and leave she asks, "Have you ever have a sense of loneliness like your lost?" She asks fidgeting with her fingers.

"Of course I have but then I realized that we're never really alone. We just never see the amazing people trying to get through to you. Like I said earlier I was like you once. Closed off, trying to protect yourself from getting hurt. When really you can't protect yourself from getting hurt by yourself you need people you can trust to help protect you from people who will hurt you."

"But you wanna know how I got over that feeling?" She nods her head slowly.

"I met the group of friends that are trying to get through to you but you built your walls so high we can't get through."

"I'm trying but it never seems to work. Nothing ever seems to work with me."

"Okay so we'll start little by little then. You can first start hanging out with me then you can work your way up to the rest of the gang."

She seems to contemplate this in her head until finally she stands up and sticks out her hand which I just push aside and wrap her in a hug. At first she seems startled and but eventually hugs back wrapping her arms around my waist. She winces when I give her a small squeeze but I just brush it off.

"Step one. Get used to hugs there gonna happen a lot around here." I say to her smiling at the electricity I felt when we touched.

"Oh really now?" She says crossing her arms over her chest smiling.

"Now I might have the withdraw from our deal." She says teasingly.

"Yeah right you might've just met me but you love me anyway."

"As if."

Then I sneak around her and wrap my arms around her waist from behind and tickle her. She smiles and starts laughing and giggling.

"Are you sure you want to back out?"

She somehow wheezes out between laughs "Okay... I am... not so... sure now."

I immediately stop tickling her and say, "I thought so."

"See Tris your already warming up to me. Now you have to get used to a whole group of people."

"Yeah I know." She mumbles.

"I have a question for you Four."

"Fire away."

"How do you know Marcus?"

"And if I refuse to answer?" I reply mimicking her in a sickly sweet voice.

"Touché"

Why did I let my guard down for a girl? I spent years building my walls just to let them fall for a girl I just met. Wow if that's the case then I never had any walls to begin with. If I had really had built any walls Tris wouldn't have been able to slide through so easily. But it's too late to back out now. I realize I really have changed since I met the game. Now I want to do the same for Tris I am determined to slip past her walls just as she did mine or what's left of my walls.

Tris deserves someone who can understand her to look after her. No matter how much see denies it she needs someone to rely on whether its me or someone else. I don't care but someone like her needs a shoulder to cry on. Just looking in her eyes you can tell she's been through more than most. She may think she's hiding it very well but not from me because I tried for years to mask my pain and I know that expression all too well to be tricked like that again.

After that it is nothing but silence and we are both sitting in the bench watching the kids play around laughing and smiling. I wish my childhood could've been like that.

**Tris POV:**

As I watch the kids play I can't help but wish my tween hood **(AN: Is that even a thing?)** or whatever was like that. I wish I could remember my parents, the people who gave me life. I wish I could remember Caleb more than what little I remember now and all the fun times we might've had. I wish I knew how Four knows Marcus. I wish Marcus and Peter weren't such dicks.

But I should know better than to wish for something impossible. Why did I agree to become friends with Four? One step forward two steps back right? Sometimes life can be this big bowl of suck and you just need someone to lift you up. Maybe that someone will be Four.

**AN: I know its short and crappy but it's all I got so far I have so much going on. Read my other story by the way! **

**Review goal: 15-18 or above! Above is good too! **


	3. Chapter 3: Screwed

**AN: So… how ya been guys?**

**Disclaimer: Isn't it obvious by now I'm not Veronica Roth.**

**Tris POV:**

When I wake up reality hits me. I seriously put down my walls to make friends? Was I high on amity bread or something yesterday?

I shake my head in distaste of my own actions and slip out of bed. Maybe I can just avoid him saying it was all a really screwed up mistake. I run to the bathroom trying to be quiet because Peter gets pissed easily. After I finish showering I walk to my room to find my clothes.

I pick out old faded jeans with holes and a black v-neck with my beat up combat boots. I brush out my hair and walk into the kitchen. I sling my black and grey backpack over my shoulders grabbing a granola bar eating it quickly before brushing my teeth and walking out the door to see a very impatient looking Peter in the car.

He opens the passenger side door from the drivers seat saying in a harsh tone, "Get in the car." I merely nod my head and sit in the passengers seat awaiting for us to arrive at hell.

I look out the window watching the buildings and trees pass my vision. Peter is an only child no parents, no siblings, and no family. So he was put into foster care until Marcus took him in. It's really complicated considering Marcus lives in two houses. But no one says anything in protest to his living arrangements because everyone believes that the house I'm living in is strictly for business related things.

I wonder if Peter was mean before the adoption or if Marcus made him into a monster? When I was 13 and the kidnapping had just taken place I would see billboards and posters saying missing child Beatrice Prior. Since I can't remember my name I can't know for sure if that was me. Peter and Marcus wouldn't allow me to look at the picture of the child.

I've wondered everyday if she was me or if I was her. I still see a few posters up even 4 years later. I wonder how Caleb is and if he even cares I was gone. Or if my parents still care about me. When they kidnapped me they injected me with a shot of some sort making me lose my memory of my parents or if I had parents. Everything but Caleb which I still don't understand.

His face haunts me every night I wake up crying praying to one day meet my brother. I hate feeling like this lost, confused, and annoyed by everyone and everything. Once we're at school Peter pulls my hair roughly trying to get me attention. I groan and open the car door grabbing my backpack and walking to the school.

Once I find my locker I see Four standing in front of it standing patiently.

"Your standing in front of my locker." I say pointing to my locker behind him.

"I know I was waiting for you."

"Well you can stop waiting around because what happened yesterday was a fluke. I wasn't thinking straight. I like sitting alone at tables at lunch, I like not having a group of people pester me about my personal life, I like the silence, I like not having to try to impress people. I am choosing this I am making this decision. So please just drop it."

"Well I know one thing you won't have to worry about having me as a friend."

"And what's that?" I say in an exasperated tone.

"Trying to impress my friends and I because we're already impressed." He says walking away from my locker not protesting in any way.

I shake my head and continue forward to my locker putting in the combination and getting my books and notes for my first class, math. I look up at the clock and see I have 5 minutes till class starts. I begin my way to the classroom looking at my map to make sure I have the right directions.

Once I walk into the classroom I see the teacher sitting at her desk scribbling something down and a few other students sitting down making paper airplanes or something. I sit down at my desk quietly and wait for class to start when some jock throws a paper airplane at me gesturing me to open it.

I do and inside is scribbled "check out Instagram and search up Tris" in messy hand writing. I look up at the clock on the wall and see I have 3 minutes till class. I walk over to one of the computers in the back of the class room and Google Instagram page Tris.

I click search and immediately I see a link pop up. "Tris hate page". Wow second day of school I'm already getting bullied. I cautiously click the link and I see horrible comments lined up on the screen. It already has over 100 followers.

There is a picture of Four and I on the bench smiling from yesterday. Someone must've caught us. Below the picture is a caption saying, "Back off emo. He's mine!". Okay that's all I needed to see. I close out the window and walk back to my seat. The jock that threw the paper airplane is from the gang of friends yesterday that Christina tried to introduce me to. I never gave them a chance to introduce them selves so I have no idea who he is.

When he sees me returning to my seat he walks over to where I am sitting.

"What do you want?" I say through a sigh. Looking into his chocolate brown hair and joking demeanor.

"I wanted to see your thoughts on the hate page. It's really screwed up who ever did that."

"Well thanks for trying to be a friend but I don't need any right now. And you wanna know my thoughts on the hate page. It is screwed up and I am pissed off but I have a pretty strong feeling I deserved every one of those hate comments. Believe me those comments hurt. Damn those comments hurt but I can't do a damn thing about it. If I speak up I'm the bitch and if I don't then I'm a wimp. There's no way out of this. I can't get out of this hell I call life by skipping rocks and putting on a show for others. So don't be surprised if you come to find me dead at the bottom of a ditch one day. Whether that day is today, tomorrow or next week because I can promise this it just might happen soon." I say like I'm going to commit suicide tomorrow.

Which I actually have put a lot of thought in. I mean I have nothing to live for, no friends, no family, no love.

The boy not knowing how to react to my statement walks away seeming to be thinking very hard.

_**I'm a boring page break that everyone hates yeah so how ya been...**_

When the final bell signaling lunch rings I sigh in relief grab my notebooks and walk out the door. As I shove my things in my locker I can hear a bunch of hate thrown at me. I know I should just keep my head down and shut up but I really need to get out of here.

Tears are beginning to form in my eyes. I quickly grab my razor that I keep with me for times like these when I just need a relief and couple of small bandages and my sweater. I run to the restroom and make sure no one else is inside. Once I know it's clear I go into a stall and lock the door.

Now that I know I'm alone I let the tears run freely. I grab the razor and pull up my sleeve.

Stupid- 1 cut

Ugly- 1 cut

You let Four close to you- 2 cuts

You have no family- 4 cuts

Just as I am about to continue I stop myself. Someone will get suspicious if I continue and that will just result in more bullying.

I shakily step out of the stall quietly and clean my razor before sliding the cap over the blade and shoving it in my pocket. I clean my arms putting soap on the cuts to make it sting. I put the gauze over the cuts and tighten it securely. I wash my face ridding it of any tear stains.

Once I look decent I pull down my sleeves and throw on my sweater preventing anyone to see my scars. I pull on my hood and walk out of the bathroom. I've tried to stop so many times but it has become an addiction.

I see I still have a few minutes left till we have to go back to class so I go into the cafeteria and sit down at an empty table. I take out yet another apple and sit enjoying the silence until yet again it is taken from me.

"Hey Tris." I hear the familiar voice of Four.

"Leave." I say my eyes closed.

"Second rule of becoming friends you have to at least try."

"I told you that stupid deal was off it was all just some kind of spur of the moment."

"Then I'll just keep annoying you. You know it took these guys a month to get me to hang out with them. I think you might last longer. But we'll keep trying because eventually you'll have to give in."

"Just leave me alone please!" I say throwing my arms in the air in frustration, which was a big mistake. My sweater is fairly large so when I stretched my arms up my sleeves rolled down just enough to see 3 of my new cuts. Everyone from the gang sees this and pales their eyes not able to move from my scars.

The last thing that runs through my mind is. I'm so screwed.

**AN: First off thank you BooksLover1603 I will try to slow down the pace between Four and Tris but they will eventually get together in the end. Then thank you to thereisnowayoutofthemaze for the VERY late happy birthday! Follow me on my new instagram olivia_nicole2002! :D**


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